I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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