I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just gargled with NyQuil
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize