I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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