nut hugger
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
