I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I think a kid would responsible me up
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
