I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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