You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize