We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Randomize
