I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
