im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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