he wants to bone in the snuggie
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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