There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
