I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
