She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
even my farts smell like vagina
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
