I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
