walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
