how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
