I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
