I wish i was in the wii world.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think people are normalizing furries
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize