Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize