Sponge bath it is.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
