Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
