I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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