I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
