Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
