why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
