I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
