I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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