so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize