need another drink. this is the easiest way
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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