sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
