i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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