This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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