Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
