I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
