ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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