Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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