quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
