Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Of course I have a pirate flag
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
