my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
