New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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