No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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