This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
two words...techno handjob
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
