dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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