if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
