Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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