12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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