We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
