If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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