what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
