There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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