Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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