My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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