so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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