i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
