Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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