Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I touched a dick in church today
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
