I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
