Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
