You smell like stripper and shame
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
