problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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