He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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