Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
